Happy birthday Danial!

Today is my lil Dani’s birthday… how time flies so fast! My Dani is a big boy now.

5 org anak, tapi Dani sorang jer yg Abah mandikan...

Oh! Trying my best now not to cry when I think of how I was when you were still in my tummy. Pengalaman yang paling banyak mengajar Ummie tentang cabaran hidup. Dugaan yang banyak menguji kewarasan, keimanan dan kesabaran Ummie as a woman, a wife and a mother. Almost lost in the dark.. almost drown… but not because of you… I’m lucky to have you… you are my hero.. you are my strength… Thank you for being such a wonderful boy…. Thank you to Kakak, Abang Ngah, Ecah & Abg Amirul too for always been there for me and helped me when I was sick.. for being so understanding when I was weak.. for being so patient when I was upset.. for being so independent when I was lost.. for being so supportive when I was down.. I don’t think that I could survive without all of you… Anak2 Ummie la harapan Ummie ..

Tsk! Gotta stop for a while.. Need to calm myself….

X pernah terfikir yang Ummie akan mengandung lagi after 5 years bersalinkan Abg Amirul. Thanks to Makcik Paten yang suruh Ummie buat pregnancy test sebab start alah ngan bau-bauan and hilang selera makan. It was in Feb 2010. Ummie ingat Ummie sakit biasa jer…. Tapi bila Makcik Paten soh check, Ummie trus berlari ke Guardian kat MidValley and did the test. Tup tup.. positive plak la kan… Takut nak bagitau Abah. X sure cemana reaksi dia… and as expected, dia serabut.. tapi alhamdulillah.. Abah cepat sedar. And you are his dearest son now.

Pergi 1st check up, kena marah ngan doctor sebab x ingat bila first day last period. So, nak tau bila due date, kena la scan and ukur Dani dalam perut. Maka, the due date was suppose to be 1 Oct 2011, tapi Dani nak rilek2 kat dalam perut Ummie dulu… 4hb baru nak kluar… hewhewhew..

Unlike your other siblings, I gave birth to you without Abah. Only me and the doctor. No induced, not so much pain, the easiest and the fastest. Air ketuban pecah kat rumah. Ummie excited giller x sabar nak jumpa Dani. Was so disappointed bila 2 minggu sebelum tu, pergi hospital doctor kata baru 3cm walaupun show dah ada. Tapi nak tunggu air ketuban pecah sendiri. Doctor x nak induce n x nak pecahkan ketuban. Nak biar semuanya happen naturally. Walaupun air dah keluar, Ummie x rasa sakit pon. Sempat lagi senyum sampai ke telinga. Betul2 x sabar nak jumpa Dani. Dok bayangkan muka Dani cemana.. hensem cam Abah x? hehe …

Sampai hospital, doctor kata still 3cm. Ummie frust giller tpai air semakin banyak bocor. Doctor suruh Ummie gi toilet utk buang apa yg patut. Ummie pon jalan slowly masuk toilet, baru je duduk tetiba Dani nak keluar dah. Ummie jalan slow2 keluar dr toilet and shouted Dani dah nak keluar. Doctor check lagi and kelam-kabut push Ummie masuk labour room. X sangka yg Ummie leh bersalin tanpa Abah. Doctor & nurses x sempat panggil Abah masuk coz everything happened in less than 15 minutes. Ummie ingat Ummie x kuat tapi Dani memang anak yg baik. You helped me in your own way. Memang pengalaman yang paling best! Nasib baik x bersalin dlm toilet hospital. Adush!

Dani tau x .. Abah gaduh ngan security guard sebab x kasi Abah jumpa kita lelama kat ward sementara kat spital Sg. Buloh. Security guard tu siap tunggu Abah and setiap 5 minit soh Abah keluar. Abah marah! Tau la kan cemana Abah marah… tapi Ummie soh dia sabar and nanti bila kita dah masuk ward biasa, Abah boleh la lepak ngan kita lelama… tul x Dani? Tapi Abah marah lagi bila Abah melawat kita kat ward biasa sebab Kakak x leh masuk jumpa kita. Kakak terpaksa tunggu kat bawah. Sian kakak. So, Abah x boleh jumpa kita lelama sebab risau kakak tunggu sensorang kat bawah ngan security guard. Hmmm…. X pe la.. Abah n kakak leh jumpa kita kat rmh.. kan Dani!

This time, Ummie tumpah darah. Tiap kali nak gi toilet doctor soh panggil nurse teman takut Ummie pengsan. Tapi Ummie x rasa nak pitam or pening pon. Ummie ok. Kesian kat cleaner yg kena cuci darah Ummie tiap kali Ummie bangun dari katil. Memang banyak darah. Tapi nasib baik blood pressure Ummie x rendah sangat. X sanggup nak tinggal kat spital lelama. Abang2 and kakak2 Dani x sabar nak jumpa Dani. Ummie pon x sabar nak balik rumah.

You had jaundice when you were 1 week - 1 month old. Ulang-alik klinik setiap minggu sebab nak kena amik darah. Sian Dani. Finally, kena hospitalised, duduk bawah lampu…. Dani nak tidor atas tangan Ummie jer. X nak tidor dalam tpt baby tu. So, Ummie pon kena dok bwh lampu biru tu jugak. Sakit badan Ummie sebab x selesa but I don’t mind.. as long as Dani selesa. Nasib doctor tu paham.

X sampai hajat Ummie nak breast feed Dani sampai 2 thn. Sedih x tau nak habaq. Ummie nangis sebab sakit and disappointed x dapat nak susukan Dani. Abah selalu x de. Ummie benci boss Abah! Ummie benci kampeni yg Abah keje waktu tu. Ummie marah Abah sebab slalu x de masa Ummie perlukan Abah. Sebab Ummie x ada tempat nak bergantung and mengadu. Ummie cuba tahan rasa sakit tu and continue breastfeeding you. Untill the doctor asked me to stop. I cried every time Ummie buang susu yang Ummie dah perah. Kesian Dani. Ummie masuk hospital and Dani x de dengan Ummie. Ummie nangis lagi..

Tiap kali Ummie tengok MakNjang breastfeedkan Mia, Ummie rasa sedih sangat. Terkilan. Tapi memang x de rezeki nak minum susu Ummie. Kemudian, Dani mula meniarap and merangkak… cukup 9 bulan Dani berjalan pulak.

And today.. you are already 1 year old. Harapan Ummie & Abah, bila besar nanti, Dani jadi anak yg soleh, sentiasa sihat, ceria, kaya dan berjaya (ikot kata Dr. Azizan). Always remember, no matter what.. Ummie, Abah, kakak2 and abang2 Dani always love you and will always be there for you.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANAKKU, MUHAMMAD DANIAL FITRI!